We are a group of parents who have children who have been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder.
This can happen to a child for a variety of reasons. Raising these children is very challenging. We think that reading about other's challenges is very helpful and encouraging. So we created this blog so we can write things we go through without infringing upon our children's privacy. For this reason we will not use our children's names or our own. We hope you find this blog helpful

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Russian Story

As we have all heard by now of the Russian boy who was shipped back home to the orphanage after an American adoption, it is time to analyze what happened and what it means. I will not offer my opinions, just some questions to think about for you to comment on.

Was the mother abusive to send him back home alone? Did she really exhaust all efforts for treatment here for the child? Did the child have RAD and did he deserve more time here? Was the mother left with no other options, no help from the adoption agency, and no financial resources to help this boy? If that were the case does it relieve her of her responsibilities as an adoptive parent? Did she do what was best for all involved? Was a crime committed by her? What can we do to ensure this does not happen again? What needs to be in place to care for these emotionally disturbed children with attachment disorders so that families can take care of their needs? What can we as a country do to change things?

Thursday, April 8, 2010

spring break

What can I say, I am a survivor I guess. I don't know how else to put things. The days are long and the nights seem too short. The behavior is constant non-stop. There is a certain element to RAD that even the best professionals just can't understand. Medications and therapies are wonderful and are what has prevented Titan from residential treatment, but it is not a cure as we all know. I am not talking about the violent behaviors, though it does escalate easily to that still. I am talking about the fact that I can fold the laundry and have it on the couch in piles for each child. My 6 and 8 year old can put their clothes away with no arguing as they know it pleases me and only takes a few minutes. They understand the concept of the greater good, the living room looks clean again if we all do our share. Now for Titan it is an hour long battle of the wills to get his clothes in his room which ends with him knocking them on the floor first and swearing at me to get it done. For him, he knows this will displease me and that makes him happy. If I send my kids out to play one always comes in crying unless I am right there watching because either he can't take turns, does not follow the rules of the game, or ends up hitting someone. I can't even cook in the kitchen without him turning off my timer so I have no idea when things are done. If I am vaccuuming he is tripped over the cord and knocking it out of the wall. This is constant behavior all day long. He likes to play dumb like he has no idea why I am so upset and it was an "accident". These are simply not accidents and I know it. So although the violence has subsided thanks to the medications and therapy interventions, this is still a very frustrating way to parent and it seems never ending sometimes. My other kids don't understand. To his older brother it is an embarrassment. To the younger ones it is the constant push pull of wanting a brother to play with and fearing getting hurt or simply the frustration of his inability to follow the rules. Will this ever end and what does summer hold for us???

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

School issues

Suburban mom and I and others have been working on a list of things we wish teachers knew. This is kind of like the list we already created about things we wish therapists knew. I am sure that when it's complete Suburban mom will share it. Meanwhile here is a great resource I have found that is something else you can give teachers.

I would love to hear from you guys what your biggest issue with teachers is. I think mine is that they feel sorry for my son and so they don't expect him to behave or do his best work. Lets here from you guys.